Friends don’t let friends ask 38-word survey questions
Ever heard of Candra Kumari Gurung?
She's a Nepalese worker who spent six years in a South Korean mental hospital after being mistakenly identified as a psychiatric patient—all because she couldn't pay for a meal and didn't speak Korean.
I mention this because sometimes I feel like I've spent six years in a mental hospital after being mistakenly identified as a 'quant.'
Luckily, I’ve escaped.
And my salvation came from one idea: less is more.
That might sound obvious.
But at work, you never get fired for adding—asking another question, circling back, sending a deck with an 87-slide appendix.
Subtraction feels risky, so we hallucinate that more equals better.
Time to wake up.
Consider this real example from my Publicis days working with a cold and flu brand.
Original Survey Question
Please indicate whether you experienced any sleep disruption that you would attribute to upper or lower respiratory tract infections or related inflammatory conditions (including but not limited to: common cold, influenza, pneumonia, or other comparable pathogenic respiratory manifestations).
• Yes
• No
• Not sure
Exhausting, right?
Now compare it to:
Better Question
Did a cold or flu keep you up last night?
• Yes
• No
This version cuts the question from 38 words down to 10, which saves reading time and sets up the follow-ups.
Follow-up Question 1
What have you tried to feel better?
• Medicine from the store
• Prescription from doctor
• Nose spray
• Cough drops
• Tea or vitamins
• Humidifier/steam
• Nothing, just toughing it out
• Something else
Follow-up Question 2
Being sick makes everything harder. How's being sick affecting your daily life right now?
____________ .
Feel stuck in the survey ward?
When you do consumer research, do you feel trapped in a mental hospital?
Need help escaping?
I can help you remove excess and find language that makes you sound human.
Consider booking a Roast today.
Send me your survey draft, and for $145, I'll make a 15-minute Loom video with copy-and-paste edits and suggestions to improve your survey data quality.
Cheers,
Sam