Why I fantasize about my colleagues
If you're bored at work, there's this game you can play: talk to your colleagues like they're your spouse.
You don't need to start a fight about the decorative pillows being in the wrong “energy arrangement.”
Just drop the jargon. "We're not utilizing that system anymore" becomes a simple "Don't."
I've never played this game but I fantasize about it. I wonder how much better I’d communicate if I didn’t pad every sentence with filler.
My wife, who grew up speaking Bosnian, switches between English and Bosnian with her sisters, sometimes mid-sentence. At work, we slip into corporate-speak. The problem is there's no equivalent of my wife's bilingual sentences, no moment where we notice ourselves switching into office talk.
Last year, reading the New York Times, I encountered a popup survey asking, “What benefits were you looking to get from the page you were viewing?”
Why not just ask, “Why are you reading this article?”
This version probably felt too informal – too much like something you'd say to your spouse. But it’s clear and easy to answer.
To measure how language changes between home and work, I fielded a survey with 150 respondents. Each participant randomly received 5 phrases from a list of 10 and indicated if each phrase was more likely to be said “at home” or “at work.”
Some of the results were obvious: nearly everyone said "I'm not fully convinced about this direction" belonged at work, while "Are you serious?" belonged at home.
The most interesting finding emerged from a subtle variation, where a single word flipped a phrase from corporate to casual.
"Are we on the same page?" versus "Are we even on the same page?" Adding "even" pushed it into personal territory.
Similarly, "Let's revisit this" versus "I'll think about it.” Is there a meaningful difference between the two? Not really. Yet 87% of respondents said “Let’s revisit this” was a work phrase, while only 36% said the same about “I’ll think about it.”
If role playing with colleagues isn’t your thing, commit to "omitting needless words." Remember that Times survey? It was a multiple-choice question with 14 options — 14! It took me 27 seconds to read each one, and I still couldn't choose.
Next Steps
Need help decluttering your survey? Book a Survey Roast. Sometimes you need a fresh set of eyes to spot the jargon.
Send me your survey draft, and for $145, I’ll make a 10-15 minute Loom video with copy-and-paste edits and suggestions.
I’d love to help.
By the way, a great way to enhance your sex life at home is to play the game in reverse: pretend your spouse is a colleague. That way, you’ll get to “dip your pen in the company ink” without the risk.
I’ve never played this game either. But it’s something I fantasize about.
Cheers,
Sam
Steal-This Resources
• You can get an editable version of the table here (you’ll need a free account to Data Wrapper).
• Link to the survey I used to collect the data. It’s still live, so you can see how I phrased the questions.