Everyone needs a
a research guy.

You have a guy for when the fridge breaks. A guy for when your taxes get weird. I'm the guy you send a survey to. No project, no scope doc, no favor to feel bad about — just an expert second look and copy-paste fixes in three business days.

Get a Roast · $245
Condé Nast Giant Spoon Hydrant Fairing Huron The Paragraph Project Publicis Preacher Shepherd Interact Alen RiseWell
“Sam. We won the business. The survey played a huge part.”
Corbin Brown
Chief Transformation Officer, Giant Spoon
“Holy sh*t. I'm 4 minutes in and this is gold.”
Matt Mullenax
Founder & CEO, Huron
“Lightning-fast. Immediate, clear value.”
Emma Sharley
Sharley Consulting

You don't need a research project. You need someone to call.

For years, past clients would ping me with the same ask: can you take a quick look at this? They didn't need a full engagement. But they also didn't love asking for a favor every time.

So I made it official. The Roast is the formal version of that quick look — fixed price, fixed turnaround, and no awkwardness about asking again.

Two ways to call your guy.

The Roast

You have a draft. You want an expert gut-check.

$245back in 3 business days
  • A video walkthrough of every question
  • Copy-paste rewrites for anything that needs one
  • Notes on flow, sequence, and response options
  • Ideas for the analysis once the data comes back
Book a Roast

Custom Survey

You need the whole thing built from scratch.

$2,345done in 1–2 weeks
  • Intro call on goals, audience, and method
  • A full survey, written from scratch
  • 3 rounds of edits until it's right
  • Platform picks and setup help if you need it
Start a Custom Survey

Custom Survey covers survey design; respondent recruitment, fieldwork, and data analysis are not included.

See what I'd change. And why.

A recorded walkthrough of your survey, question by question, plus a document with rewrites you can paste straight in — and an honest read on what's working and what isn't.

See a full example →

BEFORE

Which best describes your current fitness routine?

I don't exercise regularly · Light activity (walking, yoga, stretching) 1–2 times per week · Moderate exercise (gym, running, sports) 3–4 times per week · Intense training...

AFTER

Do you exercise regularly?

No1–2 times a week3–4 times a week5+ times a week

Why: The original asks two things at once — how often and what kind. You only need one. If type matters, ask it separately.

Quick answers.

I haven't written a survey yet. Can I still book?
Yes. If you want a survey designed from scratch, the Custom Survey option is the better fit. If you're unsure which one you need, send me a note.
My survey is already live. Can you still help?
Absolutely. Post-purchase surveys, ongoing trackers, and always-on surveys are all fair game. I'll focus on changes that are practical for a live survey.
How do I send it to you? Do you know my platform?
A Google Doc works best, but I can work from a live link too. I've worked with Qualtrics, Alchemer, SurveyMonkey, Typeform, Jotform, and others.
Can I make the changes myself?
Yes. Everything is designed to be useful without technical support: copy-paste rewrites, clear explanations, and a video showing exactly what I'd change.
What if I'm not happy with it?
If you don't find the Roast useful, I'll refund you. No hoops, no hard feelings.